June 13

Spiritual Love Conversation: Healing and Dating After Heartbreak

Hello peace and blessings. I am back. Um, so I was having some, well testing something out and it took a little longer than I anticipated, but I wanted to do a reading for the day. I was just kind of got it to provide some inspiration for someone who might be dealing with some heartache or just, um, not so much in a good place, especially in relation to dealing with others. That's kind of how it came to me. So one of the things that I am going to be focused on going forward is heartbreak. A lot of times when women come to me and even the men who reach out to me, it's issues around heartbreak or perceived heartbreak. And, um, so I'm gonna focus on that for a little bit. Healing, heartbreak, self love, forgiveness, all of that kind of ties up into one beautiful bow.

But what I'm seeing is that, um, a lot of times when we get into situations with people that don't work out, it takes something away from us. Um, and maybe for you it's not, uh, like relationship with another person. It could be something that you're dealing with at work, but whatever it is, it makes you feel small because something didn't go as planned. Something's not working. Right. So one of the first things is to like release that. Like we tend to judge ourselves so harshly based on the things that we experience and how people treat us and allow it to take away our power instead of it empowering us to be who we are. Because oftentimes when things like that happen, it's because it's not in alignment with us and there's a shift that we need to make, but we don't always see it that way.

Um, and I've had to learn how to, you know, see it that way and I'm grateful that I was able to learn that. But oftentimes we, you know, a lot of people think things happen to them and not for them. And getting people to shift out of that mindset into one of more empowerment. One that's more like, okay, well what can I learn from this can be a challenge because we are kind of taught to just accept things that happen to us. Um, so that's what's coming up. It's like release the need to feel small. Don't judge yourself based upon you know, what you're going through, whether you know you're having challenges in your relationship. If a relationship ended, if you were cheated on or whatever the case may be, don't allow that to make you feel small. Allow yourself to reclaim your power. And um, especially in dealing with other people, like when somebody shows me who they are or things start to go south, I always express gratitude for it because I'm like, I'm glad that I see the truth.

Because once you start to see it, like once you start to smell the cockeyed, the, you know what it is though. It's like, okay, now there's no need to draw this thing out. There's no need to try to fix this person. You know, there's no need to keep pretending that things are great if they're not. Like once you see it, then you see it and you can't unsee it. And I love that quote. Um, was it Oprah or Maya Angelou? I think it was Oprah. She says when someone shows you who they are, believe them. And so once somebody shows you who they are, believe who they are, don't let it make you, forget who you are. And that can happen. So for a lot of us, what I'm seeing is like, um, focusing on yourself, like kind of going into a little bit of isolation, spending some time by yourself to focus on your personal foundations, whatever that may be.

Was it Maya Angelou? Okay, so Oprah probably got it from Maya. I saw it from Oprah, who probably quoted Maya Angelou and the quote wasn't um, properly credited. But yes, I love, I love Mama Maya, beautiful, beautiful spirit. But sometimes we have to get away and connect. And I feel like for a lot of people that's going to be like a trip to the beach or a lake house because water is very purifying. Water is very healing. So if you can't get, you know, to a body of water, your bathtub is a great substitute. Have a bath, reconnect with yourself, um, and spend some time like taking care of yourself, beautifying yourself inside and out. Really focusing on self love. And what I'm seeing here is like, so we have this mermaid and she's sitting there and she's kind of brushing her hair and just staring off into the distance.

And what I'm feeling is like she's thinking about everything that she's been through and really focusing on where it is that she's trying to go. And so once she does that, then she kind of blossoms into the empress, which is lots of goddess energy, just beautiful, glorious. She's wearing her crown. So you can clearly see like there's a transformation here. And so if this is you and you've been alone or you been feeling like, you know, isolated or needing some alone time, no, that, that's okay. And sometimes we do need to disconnect from outside influences. I'm not saying like go, you know, hold yourself up and be completely alone. But sometimes we do need to disconnect from whether it's social media, whether you know it's friends for a little bit, whether it's just TV, um, being on the phone all the time. Like, sometimes we just really need to disconnect so that we can hear ourselves so that we can reconnect with who we are, remember who we are and start to pull out our power and our energy back into us.

And, um, so the angelic message that I got was psychic protection. Um, and I've, I've talked about this before and I'll probably talk about it some more going forward, but we have to guard our hearts and our thoughts because they are very much, um, they're powerful. And if you're thinking negative things, if you're thinking, you know, I'm not important or I'm small or you know, this thing took away from me, if that's what we're, we're thinking negative thoughts and we're going to start to manifest those things into our reality. So it's very important that you be aware of what you're believing about yourself and about your life, about your relationships, and start believing or thinking thoughts that you want to believe in, thoughts that you want to create so that, um, you're not, you know, manifesting cycles of hurt and cycles of pain. And another thing too, like when we get into relationships, we can hold onto a lot of fear going forward.

And um, one of the things that we'll be talking about in the next year to love circle is, um, how to move on after heartbreak, right? Dating after heartbreak because it can be really hard to like step out there and date in a way that's empowering and not in a way where you're settling and you're just like, okay, I'm going to just settle for this situation. Or you know, I'm not going to date at all. I'm just going to close myself off. I'm going to throw everything I have into, you know, my career or my friends or my family or whatever it is. And you know, there are good ways of avoiding things and there are bad ways of avoiding things too. So some people might say, you know what, I'm just going to go to the gym and that's great. That's, it's a great way to, you know, cultivate time with yourself to work on your physical body and your mind.

But you're still using it as a coping mechanism to avoid social interaction and to avoid like opening up and being vulnerable. So no that no one can hurt you. Um, and when you move into a relationship, a new relationship, it is, um, a little scary because it makes, it makes us vulnerable, especially if it's somebody that you really care about and you can feel, you know, all the feelings bubbling up. And then you move into fear mode. You move into that mode where you're like, but what if, what if they're lying? What if they hurt me? What if they use me? What if this doesn't work? And so then we start to go back into those negative thoughts where we start to have all those spheres and start to manifest those things in our current relationships. And so a lot of times, you know, I know I've said this before and I hear it said a lot from both men and women.

I'll hear, oh, all men are dogs or you know, all women are gold diggers or whatever's stereotype that people want to, you know, categorize, um, people in when it comes to like dating and being in relationships. And it's not necessarily that, but sometimes our thoughts and our energy is still vibrating in, you know, in our past and the traumas that we've experienced. So it's not that every person we meet is completely trash. It's just that we're matching energies. So if we haven't moved out of that fearful state and to a place where we're really opening up to love, then we're going to start to pull that out of other people. And we will bring people in around us who will kind of make that be true. Because until we get the lesson, we have to keep taking the class and trust me, I know I have been there and then it hit me like, okay, the only thing that that is constant and each and every one of our relationships is us.

So it's what we're bringing into the relationship. It's what we're bringing to the table, what we're willing to accept, what we believe, um, that cultivates our relationships. So once we start thinking differently, once we start realizing like, I am worthy and deserving of the highest form of love, once we start, you know, really upholding our own boundaries and looking at our relationships in a different light, then that's when we start to see some of those old patterns and you know, old people that we might have entertained. And we're like, no, this isn't on my level and then anymore. I'm not here. I'm in a different space and you know, I desire and I require something on a higher level. So be very mindful of your thoughts around your relationships around yourself, around yourself, worth around love and just really focus on yourself. Start to imagine what you want, love to be like for yourself.

And so I'm sending out an email today. It's all about the summer of love because, um, and I think a lot of this is coming about because I've reentered dating again. I kind of dip my toe in and out of the pool. And um, yeah. So it's sharing some insights that I have learned within, you know, the last couple of years and just wanting to help people because people are coming to me for specific things and you know, I want to be able to serve and provide what they need. I hope that this message has inspired you, that it has enlightened you and, um, helped you think about things differently, gave you a little bit of encouragement as you move through this week. And I hope that you are open to experiencing love in different ways this summer and forever because we all deserve it and we need it. And um, I think it's so beautiful when we can be in our, and that's another thing I want to talk about how we as women get out of our divine feminine and we get into a more masculine state.

And um, and I'm noticing that as I'm engaging in a new relationship, it's like I don't have to have all this armor on. Like, I can be receptive and open and allow my divine feminine to show. It's like I don't have to guard it anymore. And so looking back and you know, past experiences, you know, there's always like the struggle because going from having to be in a very action oriented and very masculine energy where we're having to, to do, to fight, to protect, to shield, you know, we have to do all of the things and to move out of that and into a situation that requires you to be open, to be soft, to be feminine. And that does not mean weak. So let's let me say that right now. Cause Goddess Energy is powerful. We create worlds, we create beings, we create life.

So to be in that mode where we can be creative and fun and flirty and sensual, it takes work and it takes healing, especially if there's been abuse or trauma, sexual trauma, any of that. It can knock us out of balance with our energies. And I think that's why we see a lot of, um, discord between men and women, especially in the black community. But there's also a host of other, um, additional complications when we start to talk about, you know, genetic trauma and ancestral healing within the black community. So we going get deep. Okay. You guys, and I hope that you are open to this because, um, I've been able to be in receptive mode. Y'All know, like I have not been on social media a lot, I would say.

I know within this year, maybe within the last year or so, I've just been in this state of receiving and I'm being called to, you know, to really stand up and embody the principles that I, that I preached that our practice in my life. Um, and so what, Oh God, why don't I feel like I'm going to cry? That's still weird. But like, you know, I'm being called to embody spiritual love as a parent, as a person, as a business woman, and really bringing it into everything that I do. So I had to take a step back and I'm like, okay, what is this? What is happening? Because this is going deeper than I had ever imagined. So just trying to, to catch up and find, find ways to start to integrate that into this space. Um, last week I think it was, um, I talked about how the Spiritual Love Circle is shifting.

So we're going to be moving into a community and the Spiritual Love Circle will still exist, but it's going to be, um, live calls or sessions, um, meetings, um, probably on zoom or some platform like that that's interactive. Um, so I did one, I'll probably have another one coming out. Yeah, I think it was at the end of May. Time is moving so fast, like June just started and it's already like we're halfway through the month and that's why I'm like, okay, wait, when did this occur? Um, but I'm really excited and I'm hoping that these can grow into weekly sessions where we're able to get what we need to go out to the world and to live our life from a place of healing, from a place of love, from inner peace and wholeness. So I'm glad that I was able to pop in and talk with you all today.

Thank you all for joining me. If you have any questions, comments, please leave them below. Um, I'm going to be transitioning the group into the community. I do not know if that's going to be on Facebook or if I'm going to move it off onto a platform that's specifically just for communities because Facebook to me gets super busy and overwhelming. And I haven't figured that out, but I know a lot of my community and tribe is on Facebook, so I'm just sitting with that, trying to see what direction I am called to go in. But I love you all. I appreciate you all for rocking with me, for being part of my community, my tribe. And it's, it really is an honor to, to do this work and to serve and to be able to have an impact, a positive impact on the lives of others. So much love to you. Um, and I will chat with you again soon and update you as to the happenings of the Spiritual Love Community and when the next spiritual of circle virtual healing circle will be. So stay tuned and I will chat with you again soon. Love you. Bye.

Okay.

About the author

I'm Jovhannah, single mom of 2 girls. I live in Raleigh, NC I love tea, writing, and helping others. I'm a Spiritual Healer and Guide for Single Mothers, aka The Spiritual Love Healer. Think of me as your Fairy Godmother. Here to help you get your "Abundantly Ever After". So you can heal, grow and thrive in all areas of life, including love.

Jovhannah


Tags

Dating, Heartbreak, Love


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